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The Blanket - A Journal of Protest & Dissent
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Comical Livvy

"I NOW INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE TOO FAR FROM REALITY."
- A treasury of quotes

Satire

"There are no British infidels in the IRA. Never!"

"No I am not scared, and neither should you be!"

"The British and Irish press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"

"I have detailed information about the situation...which completely proves that what they allege are illusions. . . They lie every day. I triple guarantee you, there are no British agents in the IRA!"

"We are not afraid of the media. Adams has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."

"The media, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies."

"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that the media has started to commit suicide under the walls of Derry. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."

"Lying is forbidden in Ireland. President Gerry Adams will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."

"Let the dissident infidels bask in their illusion"

"These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying"

"Steak Knives are not even [within] 100 miles [of Belfast]. They are not in any place. They hold no place in Ireland. This is an illusion ... they are trying to sell to the others an illusion."

"Steak Knives are nowhere near the IRA ..they are lost in the bogs...they can not read a compass...they are retarded."

"They are not in Belfast. They are not in control of any IRA. I tell you this. It is all a lie. They lie. It is a Hollywood movie. You do not believe them."

"Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly."

"Please, please! The media are relying on what I called yesterday a desperate and stupid method."

"Just look carefully, I only want you to look carefully. Do not repeat the lies of liars. Do not become like them. Once again, I blame the media before it ascertains what takes place. Please, make sure of what you say and do not play such a role."

"They think we are retarded - they are retarded."

"After we finish defeating all of those animals we will disclose that with facts and figures."

"Don't believe anything! We will chase the rascals back to London!"

"I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future, how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place"

Question: Is Freddie Scappaticci Steak Knife?: "I will only answer reasonable questions"

 

with thanks to We Love the Iraqi Information Minister

 

 

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The Blanket - A Journal of Protest & Dissent



 

 

At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.
- Eric Idle



Index: Current Articles



26 May 2003

 

Other Articles From This Issue:

 

Lynch Pins
Eamon McCann

 

Send in the Sandbag
Anthony McIntyre

 

Trial By Media

British Irish Rights Watch

 

We Love the Andytout News Information Minister
Comical Livvy

 

The Letters page has been updated.

 

23 May 2003

 

A Fair Trial
Bernadette McKevitt

 

Stalinville
Anthony McIntyre

 

Connolly on Religion, Women and Sex

Liam O Ruairc

 

Gareth O Connor
Joe Dillon

 

To the Citizens of Europe
Davy Carlin

 

A New Morning
Annie Higgins

 

 

 

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